ExpertDabbler

Last week, I was talking to my friend about the rise of live-in relationships in places like Bangalore. The talk of Society’s approval for our behavior came into the picture.

This society is a powerful thing. Man essentially craves recognition, acceptance and approval from the society for his actions. He wants to contribute to be in the good books of the society in the hope that his society will come to his rescue when Life turn rough for him.

But what essentially constitutes society? And is society the same everywhere? Things were getting interesting.

According to me, Society is something in which you interact with on a daily basis. People about whom who you think about and people who think about you. People with whom you discuss matters - general and personal. Essentially your personal friends, family members, close relatives etc.

Is society the same everywhere? The answer is obviously no.
In fact the term society does not have value without a place prefix. And as regards the place, the more specific the better.

The society in Coimbatore is different from Chennai society which differs in values and beliefs from a Bangalore society. New York people think and act different.
Even in Coimbatore, a person living in Kottaimedu encounters a different set of values and yardsticks of acceptable behavior than one living in Telugu Brahmin street.

Now what if one was born and brought up in Coimbatore suddenly finds himself living in LA for instance?

His society will constitute his parents and family, people he interacts with in his daily life in LA, people he trusts and considers his friends in India. Is he going to be worried about what a distant uncle might think of him who he had last seen some 5 years back? Not likely.

In my case, I interact and mail a set of people. My Mom, Priyums, Suman, Ganesh, my office mates, Mani, Madhu, Accurum friends in Chennai and some school time buddies.
There are people who I just mail alone, say for instance, Agila.

I call and speak to one of my uncle about once in a month.
I have never spoken to my dad’s relatives in the past 4.5 years.

Now, if I am able to contribute something to the set of people I interact with, quarrel with them, talk with them on a sustained basis, I think I can be happy. Bluntly, I could not care less about my Dad’s distant uncle views me. The reason, he does not come under my set of people.

Internet has definitely changed the way we had conceived and viewed about friends and our people. Today, each person can be in different time zones and yet those may be the people to whom we discuss pretty much everything.

If and when I get married I would like to have people who know me well. People with whom I had eaten with, talked with, quarreled with, went to movies with, talked my heart out with. I am not too keen to meet people who know nothing about me except my name just by virtue of being a blood relative.

What if the people I consider as constituents of my society reject me? There will be pain, suffering, and heart aches. I might introspect to find if I have done any wrong. I might try to change. Try making corrective actions. If things are beyond repair, then gradually I might find new friends, meet new people who are more receptive to my ideas and life goes on I guess.

Mani was at landmark. The Almighty of Alwarpet who had changed the way Tamil Cinema was perceived by the outside world was at his spontaneous, simple, creative best handling some difficult questions from a very intelligent but Mani crazy audience. He was there for the DVD and VCD release of his movies.

That he is a celebrity is a known fact. That he is also a very simple, humorous and casual person who can laugh at himself not many know. At least I did not know till now.

Some of the questions asked were what we always had wanted to ask Mani Ratnam. How he goes about writing the script. Essentially the behind-the-scenes process. How he has managed to bring about the best in his actors, his cameraman and the locations.

But regarding the method for writing or for that matter any pursuit which requires imagination I don’t believe there is any set way to accomplish. Each person is unique, original and innovative enough to have his own way.

All people who are in risky, imaginative domains like film making, creative writing don’t do just because it makes them fabulously rich. They do just because during those moments they are well and truly alive and fully aware of themselves, their perceptions, their emotions.

I certainly wanted to ask him a few questions.

Why does he leave some of the characters in his movies unfinished?

Is he really comfortable in handling stories “engineered” to suit a topical theme.?

Is he not banking too much on his treatment and visual style to augment a weak storyline which suits a current affairs topic when the world knows he is a master at dealing with relationships and all its nuances?

I did not ask for two reasons. I was not given an opportunity. I was not identified whenever I raised my hand. The other being I kind of did not mind it to leave unquestioned. Asking him these questions would have been finishing my thoughts about his movies, his craft. I had voluntarily chosen to send out a mail to some people and question them all to put a full-stop. But I wanted this Mani business to be left unfinished. Let my infatuation with his movies continue for some more time.

One of the best ways to learn is to teach others i guess. So I am starting a blog to post whatever little knowledge I might have in my domain – Macromedia technologies.
No links as usual.
Either I explain in detail in my language or i opt out.
The purpose is to enable me and novices like me to understand certain concepts clearly. The blog title is rialessons.blogspot.com
RIA stands for Rich Internet Applications.

I was reading Selva Raghavan’s memoirs in Vikatan. I have to say I have behaved and acted in a matured way during tough times. In the sense I think I did not commit the more popular acceptable mistakes of the youth. There was always a middle-aged guy inside my head even during my adolescent years.
Looking back, that is one of the few consolations.

One of the best things about coming to Navalur is the bike ride it facilitates every morning. Riding at 80 kmph is an exhilarating experience. Of course one small mistake and my mom will lose her only son but I thoroughly enjoy this. Life is worth living and no better way to live than to ride with abandon.It would be even better if I ride when it’s drizzling. I want to try this once on a weekend morning. Just for the heck of it. I am using this phrase more often nowadays ”Heck of it”. A mark of a person who has nothing much to lose in life except perhaps his mother.

Life is funny. My buddy called me around 12 at night yesterday for a heart- to- heart talk. We were talking for about an hour, as if we know each other for decades. What makes this especially interesting is that I am yet to meet that person.The whole relationship is through telephone.

It took me a while to sleep after the talk and I was thinking about the way this person entered my life. Some remarkable people enter our lives in the most bizarre ways. It all seems random but I guess it is all laced with meaning. The meaning will be revealed to us if and only when life wants to.

My Coimbatore friend Ramesh Kumar, a lawyer, always used to say
“The secret of Success is known only to those who haven’t succeeded”. It sounds funny and cynical. But the logic of that statement is very interesting. According to Ramesh, those who succeed just do the right things and don’t waste their time analyzing; they kind of do the right things as a matter of fact and make that as a habit.

On the other hand those who fail, ponder over their result too much. They analyze successful people and over a period of time develop their own theory.
Any theory developed over a large sample space may actually be solid.
But we are humans, not computers. Just knowing what makes one successful is not good enough. Implementing the lessons learnt in a timely manner over a period of time requires much more than intellectualization. It requires recognizing our shortcomings and willingness to roll up our sleeves to do something about it.

That is why any decision as such is useless. It is what we do after taking a decision that matters. Me dropping out of BSc CT and joining CS course was a decision. If I had been able to complete my ACS, that would have been a splendid decision. Since it turned out otherwise, it is considered as a miserable decision.

One important thing this recent depression taught me is to look at this world with awe, wonder and excitement. This world is ready to give us so much unconditionally, if only we are prepared to receive with no discrimination.

Previously, I used to think life is just about being happy. I believed that I am one of the few guys who is just destined to be happy no matter what setbacks. And setbacks I have had more than a handful.

But now, I guess Life is even beyond being happy, being successful (considered successful), seeing new places, meeting new people, leaving behind a legacy etc. Of Course living includes all this but also it offers something much more profound.
Sometimes the combined effect of all the aspects is greater than the sun total of all the individual aspects.

I have been kind of alone all these years and I kind of always inwardly resented that fact.
I was looking for company in some form or other. But now I realize life is a lonely business. And as life would have it, looks like my bachelor days are numbered.
Now I need to figure out to keep a space for myself and also for the person who might walk into my life.

Happened to watch to three mani ratnam movie songs today. All cranked by PC Sreeram.
The movies were Nayagan (1987), Thiruda Thiruda(1993), Alaipayudhe(2000).

It’s amazing to witness an artist’s growth over a period of time. It’s even more interesting to watch how one of the most celebrated director-cameraman combinations has evolved in these 20 years.

The difference is kind of everywhere, from the shots, lighting and editing.

My favorite pick – Kadhal Sadugudu in Alaipayudhe.

Today, I visited the Chennai Corporation zonal office nearby.
For those of you who have been out of India long enough please make sure you visit such holy places when you are here.

Today’s visit rekindled past experiences at such holy places.

One of the best things about my dad was he taught me practical lessons even at his death.
Poor dad he may be, but he taught me lessons Rich Dad would be proud of.
At the time of his death, he had not done the name transfer to our only house.
He did not bother to nominate me or mom for his bank accounts.
Little did I realize then that I am in for great lessons in life.
Lessons given only to a privileged few.

My dad actually breathed his last in a friend’s shop, somewhere in the interior of Ganapathy - a locality in Coimbatore.

My uncle, at the time of the funeral, registered my dad’s death as something that happened in a hospital (Actually my dad’s death was certified by a doctor working in that hospital).This resulted in unspeakable confusions later on.

My struggles to get the Death Certificate, then legal heir certificate and then my mom’s pension are all unforgettable. Whatever romantic view I had on Life changed drastically after those experiences.

I would have been a pauper by now but for Madhu’s Dad’s help.