ExpertDabbler

Actually I was a bit scared to write about you - for entirely selfish reasons.
Selfish because you are the only precious human I live with. The rest all - about whom I had already written are physically far away from me. I had a fear writing about you will make me refer to you in the past tense later on. An irrational thought. We are all irrational deep inside anyway.

My friend Suman wanted me to write about you. To make it complete.
Maybe he gets frustrated with unfinished business of late.
Maybe he was just plain curious to know what I write about my Mother.

Then I decided to write - for my special reasons.

It will take approximately 45 seconds for you to spell I-N-D-I-R-A and recognize it’s your name in English. You are not going to read this blog any day. For you neither English nor blogs matter. You would rather make sure I have my hair oiled.
You are always busy. You taught me love means verb.
You define love as the ability to do things in the best interests of your loved ones on a sustained basis even when you feel like procrastinating.

When I find myself confronting my friends with acts of pure love and words of brutal frankness, they think its me. Hardly. I am too educated, cultured, well mannered, and politically correct or to put it short too polluted for that. Its always you acting through me.

Whenever you showed that no matter what I do for life, no matter how we fight you would always be there for me, I never understood as ‘my mom will accept me no matter what’.
I always understood that, as ‘this world will accept me no matter what’.
If a mother could do that, she has done her job I guess.

You made me an honest person by not giving me an opportunity to cheat. You will sign wherever I want you to, how will I cheat you then?

The reason I chose to write about you is this. I don’t want you to be beside me in my deathbed. That should be too agonizing for you. You better die first. Comfortable. At peace with yourself. My only wish is that let it be as smooth as a computer shutting down. I don’t want crashes, power outages, etc.
Its only fair that the person who taught me fair and unfair, right and wrong gets a fair deal at least in death. Of course I will cry. I will suffer but in the end, I will grow. There is no better news for a mom than the prospect of her son growing I guess.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 1st, 2005 at 10:11 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.