Archive for April, 2005

My day today

Saturday, April 30th, 2005

Did a few good things which really lifted my mood today.

My first strike was “Maple Walnut” in “Move n Pick”. It feels different to go and have ice cream alone. But enna oru taste! Aha! Rombo nanna irundhudhu. Worth all the 62 bucks I paid for one scoop. Auto madhiri oru 10 Rs. sethi kettirundha kooda kuduthiruppen.

Took out my camera after God knows when.

The last time I photographed was during my friend’s wedding last April 11th. He had long celebrated his wedding anniversary but I am yet to see the results of whatever I had taken that day. Was it good? Was it bad? There was another professional wedding photographer covering the function, so I was just expected to shoot whatever I come across. Whatever be the expectations, I thought I was entitled to see the output. The powers that be decided otherwise.

But today I shot my mobile phone in dark conditions. Extremely low-light photography. It should’ve been at least 4 years since I’d shot anything like this. Definitely looked out of touch and rusty. Onnum olunga varadhu. But I am happy.

I am happy because in all these 28 years, one good quality I like in me is the ability to lift myself out of depression quickly. I don’t expect company, cuddling, smooth words etc…
Sometimes some nice words / mails from priyums helps.
But I do have a grip on my emotions and I can take charge of things when the need arises.

Boozing, sulking in a corner has never been my style.
Even the dearest of losses( my dad’s death) has not paralyzed me.
I pour my heart out in mails and blogs and then quickly get on with things.

Perfect Love and Friendship

Friday, April 29th, 2005

Is perfect love at all possible?
My experiences have been quite limited, one-sided and unrequited anyway.
But then, i have been witness to one of the most beautiful, divine couple falling apart. That was a nightmare of an experience to me. Whats more i was almost the sole witness to that.

But i still find friendhips can hurt me all the more than love.
i don’t know why. In spite of losing my ego in love, i still find a small deviation, a lie, concealment of information, the touch of diplomacy and samarthiyam by my friends can actually kill me.

I had long entertained this fantasy of going to a far away land where there is no known person.

I guess i blog and visit blogs just for that reason.

Maybe as i get older, i will understand the realities of life better.
Need to take charge of my life and get on with things. Should learn to mind my own business. Let each one take care of theirs.

Heck i don’t even want to know whether some of them are alive or not.

அக்கினிக் குஞ்சு

Friday, April 29th, 2005

அக்கினிக் குஞ்சொன்று கண்டேன் - அதை அங்கொரு காட்டிலோர் பொந்திடை வைத்தேன்;
வெந்து தணிந்தது காடு;- தழல் வீரத்தில் குஞ்சென்றும் மூப்பென்றும் உண்டோ?
தத்தரிகிடதத்தரிகிடதித்தொம்.

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This poem beats me. what is he saying? i was not introduced to bharathi by any elder reading at home. So no benefit of teacher at home.
I was introduced by that great movie “Bharathi” and the incredible songs composed by “The” music director in India.
Almost all the popular poems by Bharathi are simple & straighforward. But “Akkini kunchndru..” i wonder what he is alluding to. What is the subtext?

Any one who is well versed in Bharathi’s poem?

It will be great if someone can crack the real bharathi in this piece.

20 Questions

Thursday, April 28th, 2005

Played 20 Questions here after a long time.Did lift my dull mood.
Thanks to Harish

Excerpts from “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell

Thursday, April 28th, 2005


Silvan Tomkins, The American Einstein

Much of our understanding of mind-reading from two remarkable scientists, a teacher and his pupil: Silvan Tomkins and Paul Ekman. Tomkins was the teacher. He was born in Philadelphia, at the turn of the last century, the son of a dentist from Russia. He was short, and thick around the middle, with a wild mane of white hair and huge black plastic-rimmed glasses. He taught psychology at Princeton and Rutgers, and was the author of “Affect, Imagery, Consciousness,” a four-volume work so dense that its readers were evenly divided between those who understood it and thought it was brilliant and those who did not understand it and thought it was brilliant. He was a legendary talker. At the end of a cocktail party, a crowd of people would sit, rapt, at Tomkins’s feet, and someone would say, “One more question!” and they would all sit there for another hour and a half, as Tomkins held forth on, say, comic books, a television sitcom, the biology of emotion, his problem with Kant, and his enthusiasm for the latest fad diets, all enfolded into one extended riff. During the Depression, in the midst of his doctoral studies at Harvard, he worked as a handicapper for a horse-racing syndicate, and was so successful that he lived lavishly on Manhattan’s Upper East Side. At the track, where he sat in the stands for hours, staring at the horses through binoculars, he was known as the Professor. “He had a system for predicting how a horse would do based on what horse was on either side of him, based on their emotional relationship,” Ekman remembers. If a male horse, for instance, had lost to a mare in his first or second year, he would be ruined if he went to the gate with a mare next to him in the lineup. (Or something like that– no one really knew for certain.) Tomkins believed that faces–even the faces of horses–held valuable clues to our inner emotions and motivations. He could walk into a post office, it was said, go over to the “Wanted” posters, and, just by looking at mug shots, tell you what crimes the various fugitives had committed. “He would watch the show “To Tell the Truth,’ and without fault he could always pick the person who was lying and who his confederates were,” his son, Mark, recalls. He actually wrote the producer at one point to say it was too easy, and the man invited him to come to New York, go backstage, and show his stuff.” Virginia Demos, who teaches psychology at Harvard, recalls having long conversations with Tomkins. “We would sit and talk on the phone, and he would turn the sound down while Jesse Jackson was talking to Michael Dukakis, at the Democratic National Convention. And he would read the faces and give his predictions on what would happen. It was profound.”

Paul Ekman first encountered Tomkins in the early 1960’s. Ekman was then a young psychologist, just out of graduate school, and he was interested in studying faces. Was there a common set of rules, he wondered, that governed the facial expressions that human beings made? Silvan Tomkins said that there were. But most psychologists said that there weren’t. The conventional wisdom of the time held that expressions were culturally determined–that we simply used our faces according to a set of learned social conventions. Ekman didn’t know who to believe. So he traveled to Japan, Brazil, and Argentina–and to remote tribes in the jungles of the Far East–carrying photographs of men and women making a variety of distinctive faces. To his amazement, everywhere he went people agreed on what those expressions meant. Tomkins was right.

Not long afterwards, Tomkins came to visit Ekman at his laboratory in San Francisco. Ekman had just tracked down a hundred thousand feet of film that had been shot by the virologist Carleton Gajdusek in the remote jungles of Papua New Guinea. Some of the footage was of a tribe called the South Fore, who were a peaceful and friendly people. The rest was of the Kukukuku, who were hostile and murderous and who had a homosexual ritual where pre-adolescent boys were required to serve as courtesans for the male elders of the tribe. For six months, Ekman and his collaborator, Wallace Friesen, had been sorting through the footage, cutting extraneous scenes, focusing just on close-ups of the faces of the tribesmen, in order to compare the facial expressions of the two groups. Ekman set up the camera. Tomkins sat in the back. He had been told nothing about the tribes involved; all identifying context had been edited out. Tomkins looked on intently, peering through his glasses. At the end, he went up to the screen and pointed to the faces of the South Fore. “These are a sweet, gentle people, very indulgent, very peaceful,” he said. Then he pointed to the faces of the Kukukuku. “This other group is violent, and there is lots of evidence to suggest homosexuality.” Even today, a third of a century later, Ekman cannot get over what Tomkins did. “My God! I vividly remember saying, “Silvan, how on earth are you doing that?” Ekman recalls. “And he went up to the screen and, while we played the film backward, in slow motion, he pointed out the particular bulges and wrinkles in the face that he was using to make his judgment. That’s when I realized, ‘I’ve got to unpack the face.’ It was a gold mine of information that everyone had ignored. This guy could see it, and if he could see it, maybe everyone else could, too.”

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Click here for the original excerpt in Gladwell’s site. I chose to reproduce the content because just a URL and a passing mention might not be enough for people to visit the site and read the content. For they would miss one of the most intriguing pyschologists of the 20th century.

On my adieu note

Thursday, April 28th, 2005

I’d sent an adieu note to my friends sometime back.

For some reason, I don’t feel like expressing whatever I want to. Maybe the emotions are too person-specific.I don’t know. In fact there is nothing too personal, but somehow after reading “Blink”, I sometimes get this nagging feeling every now and then that the more I try to explain things, the more I am actually distorting the picture to the reader.I kind of feel empty every now and then.
My friends - I buried one 5 months ago.
This time I buried some of them deep inside me.

I still think about them several times a day, but I sure don’t want to be in touch with them the way it has been so far. Enough is enough. All good things should end and new things should begin.

I am not going to update whatever’s happening in my life. If at all they are interested let them know through my blogs. No issues.
I dont expect them to do that either. I am not interested in chat sessions any more.

I know for sure that I meant no harm to them at any point of time during my times with them. That is one reason I can move out of friendships easily nowadays. Not like the 90’s when guilt led me to stick to certain people, do certain things which led to even more guilt.

Honestly I don’t really care even if I die tomorrow.

It was good while it lasted. At the end of the day, that’s what counts. And i want to move on to newer things while it is that way.
That is one reason I can sleep peacefully nowadays. In fact I sleep a lot better than I used to when I went about telling all that I knew which I honestly believed was in their best interests.

I hope my absence from their lives will bring about a positive difference. Something my presence failed to inspire when I was with them.

AJAX

Thursday, April 28th, 2005

Sometime back, i came to know about a technology which can reload a section of the html page without refreshing the whole page from my friend manikandan. The technology was XMLhttpRequest.

AJAX is Asynchronous JavaScript and XML technology.

Yesterday i was reading this article in adaptivepath website.Very interesting.

The famous Google suggest works on this concept. I guess AJAX is worth checking out for that reason alone.

உறுதி வேண்டும்

Wednesday, April 27th, 2005

மனதி லுறுதி வேண்டும் வாக்கினி லேயினிமை வேண்டும்;
நினைவு நல்லது வேண்டும் நெருங்கினபொருள் கைப்படவேண்டும்;
கனவு மெய்ப்பட வேண்டும், கைவசமாவது விரைவில் வேண்டும்;
தனமும் இன்பமும் வேண்டும், தரணியிலே பெருமை வேண்டும்.
கண் திறந்திட வேண்டும், காரியத்தி லுறுதி வேண்டும்,
பெண் விடுதலை வேண்டும், பெரியகடவுள் காக்க வேண்டும்;
மண் பயனுற வேண்டும், வாகனமிங்கு தென்பட வேண்டும்.
உண்மை நின்றிட வேண்டும், ஓம் ஓம் ஓம்

நின்னைச் சரணடைந்தேன்

Wednesday, April 27th, 2005

நின்னைச் சரணடைன்தேன் - கண்ணம்மா! நின்னைச் சரணடைன்தேன்!

பொன்னை உயர்வைப் புகழை விரும்பிடும்
என்னை கவலைகள் தின்னத் தகாதென்று

மிடிமையும் அச்சமும் மேவியென் நெஞ்சில்
குடிமைபுகுந்தன, கொன்றவைபொக்கென்று

தன்செய லெண்ணி தவிப்பது தீர்த்திங்கு
நின்செயல் செய்து நிறைவு பெரும் வண்ணம்

துன்ப மினியில்லை, சோர்வில்லை, தோற்ப்பில்லை,
அன்பு நெறியில் அறங்கள் வளர்த்திட

நல்லது தீயது நாமறியோம்! அன்னை
நல்லது நாட்டுக! தீமையை ஓட்டுக!

Blogging in Tamil Contd.

Wednesday, April 27th, 2005

Folks, check out this flash presentation. Very simple and very well done (a bit too simple some may feel, but என் அறிவுக்கு இதுவே அதிகம்!)

http://www.suratha.com/tamilunicode.html

Last but not the least,here’s one stunner…

விதை, முளைத்தால் மரம்! இல்லயேல் உரம் !