ExpertDabbler

Characters: K and I
Genre: Faction.
Year:1994

XII std. Half yearly results were declared. All the guys were asked to bring their parents to meet the respective class teachers. I and K’s class teacher was the legendary Mr Thumbs (pronounced like thumbi, not thambi ok?). Legendary because Thumbs is one of the most popular physics teachers in Coimbatore.

I’s Dad, I and Thumbs

I:“Appa! Master.”
(We always used to call them masters. If you think about all those Jackie Chan martial arts movies, i am not responsible)

Thumbs: “Vanakkam sir.”

I’s dad: “Vanakkam sir. vara sollirundheengannu sonaan.”

Thumbs: “Ama sir. Payyan… evlo pa mark?”

I: “42 master physics la.”

I’s Dad: “Just la pass pannirukaan sir. Ipdi mark edutha enna pannradhune theriyalai. Eppo paaru culturals, competition, adhu ennamo oomai bashayileye pesikaranga…”

Thumbs: “Neenga vera, avan sollradhu 100 kku illai. 150 ku. 150 kku 60 edutha dhaan pass. 150 ku 42 na nuthukku 28%.”

I’s dad:(glares at his son)

Thumbs: “Mithadhile ellam nalla marka pa?”

I: (mounam)

Thumbs: “Nee onnum sinna payyan illai. Aduthu enna padikalaamnu irukke?”

I: “BE..”

Thumbs: “Hukkum. Epdi manasaatchiye illama ipdi pesamudiyudhu? Un mark ukku BA kooda theradhu. adhukku kooda 12th pass pannanum theriyumaillai? Ipdi padicha vazhkayuile urupada mudiyadhu parthukko!”

[Long shot]

I Emerges out with his dad.

K comes near after ensuring I’s dad has gone a safe distance to his vehicle leaving behind I.

K: “Enna da sonaan?”

I: “Totalla kizhichuttan da. theliva 42 mark 100 ku illai, 150 ku ndra unmayai pottu udaichutaan.Veetukku pona irukku. Appa payyan yedho 40-50 nu edukaran ndra nambikyile irundhaar. Adhileyum Mann. Appa nera factory poraar. veetuku vandha ennagumo? Ama un kadhai ennachu? Unga appa kitte enna sonaan?”

K: “Hmm. Unga payyan periya genius nu sonnaan.”

I: “Nijamava?”

K: “Yenda nee vera. Nee 42, naan 48. konchuvana? Naaru naara kizhichuttaan. Appa ore polambal. ‘inime nee competition ndra peche edukakoodhadhu’nnu merattal vera. Naan muthamave 3 paper dhaan pass. Adhile onnu french, innnonu english.”

I: “Naanum neeyum evlo otrumai da chey, pullarikudhu.”

K: “Seri inniku saturday,ippo enge poradhu?”

I: “Cycle edu nera RS Puram kalayarangam po. Yedho Aptech culturals irukaam. kazhudhai ketta kutti chuvaru..”

I and K laugh heartily.

(on the way to Kalaiyarangam in cycle)

I: “Dei, avan kitte thenaveta vitten paaru BE padikanumnu, kaduppu aaitaan Hehe ”

K: “Ana ipdi padichomna avan solra madhiri paas pannave maatom. Enna pannradhu appo?”

I: “Saniyane. ippo adhai ellam en nyabagapaduthare? hmm. Naan engappa cool drinks factory la utkaruven.”

K: “Naan enga kula thozhilukku poiduven. Nagai vyaabaram. padikaradhellam waste nu dialogue vittukalaam yaaravadhu ketta. Chey enna uyarndha latchiyam da namakku!”

Having said that. the prospect of failing kind of made both of them uneasy.

————-*****————-

1 day before the first models after half yearly.I comes to K’s house

I: “Dei, indha dhadavai, mithe paper ellam pona kooda kavalai illa da. Physics la mattum super mark edukanum.”

K: “Ippo enna padikalaamgariya?”

I: “Dei nadakradhai pesu. vera edhavadhu vazhi sollu.”

K: “Enakku rombo naala oru doubt. anniku library la irundhu pona varushathu thumbs question paper ellam xerox eduthen..adhile…”

I: “Dei dei ennada gundai thooki podurei? Eppo irundhu indha palakkam ellam? sollave illai?”

K: “Iru da. eduthu vachadhoda seri. inime dhaan parkanum. vathiyarunga elam somberi da. epdiyum keta questionae dhaan ketpanunga. Andha questionai mattum lesa parthuttu poi pass pannittomnu vai…”

I: “Pass ellam mudiyadhu. physics la mattum nalla mark vanganum. Above 100.”

K: “Ada paavi! Ellam beram!. Seri iru pazhaya paperai parkaren.”

I is as usual oggling at the mallu figure on the rear side of K’s house.

K: “Dei inge paaren. mosam poyittom da.”

I: “Ennachu? edhuna competition miss ayiducha?”

K: “Dei, adhillai da. Pona varusham half-yearly kku enna question paper kuduthaano adhe paper dhaan indha dhadavayum kuduthurukaan. parthiya naan appave yosichaan ana implement pannama poitten”

I: “Mayiru, vetti da nee. Exam mudinchu, dabba mark vangi, thittum vangi, adhutha exam varum bodhu sollura? yen adutha varusaham sollen, rombo ubayogama irukkum.”

K: “Dei, *&^%$,ippo onnum kudi muzhugi poidalai.idhai yen nama indha models ukku use panna koodadhu?Inge paaru. adhuku mundhina varusham kooda idhe paper dhaan kudhuthirukaan.ada paavi. varusha varusham ipdi dhaanda repeat panraan.year, month thavvira ellame apdiye dhaan irukku. Aniyayam da. Oru set prepare panni vachirukaan school join pannina pudhusula…. chey… innonum kavunichiya? indha moonu paper - half yearly, ist models, 2nd models indha moonum kittadhatta ella mukiyamaana questions um cover pannudhu physics la…”

I: Thinking. “Nijamava sollre? Ana idhellam mukhiyamaana questions nu unakku epdi theriyum? enakku theriyama enna ennamo panre. idhellam nalla ille.”

K:“Solradhai kelu. pona half yearly ku vandha adhe paper dhan indha half yearly kum. apdi partha pona 1st models kum vandhadhu dhan ippovum varum.adhai mattum nalla padicha podhum. Adhukku mundhina dhadavai kooda adhe question paper dhaan. Epdiyum moonu varushathukku oru set nu dhaan achirupaan”

I: “Aha konnute da. pazhiku pazhi. naan vangara mark ile avanukku sandhegam vandhudanum.”

K: “Enna ‘I kooda padika arambuchittan’ nu yosipaan.

I: “Chancey ilai. avanukku ennai pathi nalla theriyum. evan papero parthu bit adichurukaan nu nenaipaan. anaalum enna, mark pottu dhaane aganum? hahaha”

K: “Seri seri, indha paper, andha mukku kdaiku poi, oru xerox pottudalaam. nalaiku physics matter solved. matter nammoda irukatum. velila udadhe”

————-*****————-

I: “Dei, onnum sodhapeedadhey?unnai nambithaan…”
K: “Ennada thideernu? naan dhaan solrene?neeyae dhaan parthiye? seri indha vambe vanaam. nee ellathayum padi ukkandhu.”
I: “Dei kochukadhei da. nee idhai mattum dhan padika poriya?”
K: “Aama”
I: “Seri po. done deal. naanum idhai mattum dhaan parka poren.”

————-*****————-

Both of them go to their respective houses to study. Night study on exam eve is, well.. too risky. Both study only the selected portion as agreed and go to bed that night.

————-*****————-

Around 4 in the morning, K suddenly wakes up. He suddenly thinks like this ‘what if Thumbs gives some other question paper instead of model 1 of prev year?’ Half yearly, model1, model2 all make one pucka set. ‘Edhukkum summa oru 1 hr elathayum partha enna?’ he switches on his lights and browses thru the rest of the book.

————-*****————-
–>K at Exam hall. 9:30 AM. his worst thoughts have come true. ‘That Thumbs has changed the sequence this time. Half-yearly and last years’ Models 2 paper for this years Models 1 exam.
‘I enna pannuvaan? avanum ennai madhiri edhukkum irukattumnu epdiyum padichirupaan. I yavadhu padikradhavadhu. chencey illlai. Shit. Adhile irudha oru question kooda idhila illai.yemandhuttome. nama yemandhandhu mattum illama I ayum emathittom., erkanave avanukkku rombo nalla peru. chey rombo confident a irudhittom. ipdiye elundhu poidalama? but poittu avan paatukku vivarma ellathayum padichuttu vandhu eludhittu irundhaana? chey oru cell phone irundha evlo nalla irukkum. ipdi maati vittutome avanai. onnu pannalaam. total surrender um vendaam, fulla eludhavum vendaam. makkalukku therincha vetti potruvanuga. sumaara oru 11 varaikum eludhuvom. oru 60-70 out of 150 podhum’

————-*****————-

–>I at Exam hall. 9:30 AM. His worst thoughts have come true. That Thumbs has changed the sequence this time.
‘Naasthi da. Nalla velai. Oru company irukku indha dhadavai. Seri seri. Seekiram paperai kuduthuttu kelambina K kooda padathukku pogalaam. Ethanai neram dhaan pencil a bottom la kodu pottu “Rough Work” nu eludhi veedu padam varayaradhu? oru cell phone irundha evlo nalla irukkum. Tak nu status ketrukalaam. Enna padam poradhunnu vera theriyalai. KG or local sreepathy? kolappama irukkey…!’

@9:45.

I: gets up.”Master. Indhaanga paper. Naan kelambaren.”

Hindi master, who is the supervisor:“Ennappa, xii th models idhu. velayatta irukka? Innum koncham neram eludhu. tholukku mela valarndhitte adikka mudiyalai. Appuram edhukku vare? Innum koncha neram eludhu pa, 10:30 ku naane unnai nyaabaga padutharen”

I:“10:30 varikum irukanuma?” sits down and after some time
suddenly starts to draw something in paper with pencil.

Hindi: Really pleased that the fellow is answering some q. come and sees his paper and is shocked. Nothing but squares, circles and rough drawings big and small in the answer paper.

Hindi: “Hey enna pannare?”

I:“Summa varayaren. Neenga dhaan uda maatreenga?”

Hindi:“Yen padikalaya?”

I:“Nethikku dhaan en life laye nalla padichen master”

Hindi:“Appuram enna eludha vendiyadhu dhaaney?”

I:“Illa adhu oru chinna prachinai, question paper mariduchu.”

Hindi:“Ennadhu? Question paper mariducha? illaye! physics paper dhaan vandhirukku? Inge vandhu dhaane question paper vaanginey? Appuram epdi maarum?”

I:“Ayyo ungalukku sonna puriyadhu. oru chinna confusion. paperai maathitaanga. Neenga en paperai vangikonga. Naan varen”

Hindi:“Ennamo pani tholai. Neeyellam 12th exam eludhi enna panna poriyo? Princi kitte soli un hall ticket ai cancel panna sollanum”

————-*****————-

I comes out and waits 10AM, 10.30 AM, 11AM.

K come sout at 11:15

I:“dei, &*^%$#, konchamavadhu arivu irukka?”

K:silent

I:“Unnai dhaanda kekaren. naan paatukku 10 mani lea irundhu wait pannitu irukken.ippo vare. Evan poi ticket vangaradhu? sreepathi la kooda padam potrupaan.”

K:“illada, enna achunna… seri pass mark vangara varaikum eludhalaamnu..”

I:“Ennadhu pass mark a? ada paavi, epdi da vanguve onnu kooda varale naama padichadiley?”

K:” Illada, pona dhadavai 2nd models kudutha paperai indha dhadavai 1st models ukku kuduthitaan. Ama nee onnum verumna andha questions mattum padikaliyae?. Overall a oru look vittutu vandhe dhaane? Enakku theriyum unnai pathi”

I:“Dei Dei ada paavi K&^%$ K#*&^%, K*&^%$ P#*&%$ konchamavadhu manasatchi irukaada unakku” T%$#^&. Paradesi. Naaye. Naan yedho konchamavadhu elduhiruppen. un pechai kettu K&^%$ K#*&^%, K*&^%$ P#*&%$”

(the unprintables go on for some time)

————-*****————-

Neither K nor I passed that exam. The only exam they passed in the whole year was the 12th finals. Ah! what a feeling it was!. Actually they were genuinely happy for the 800 odd and 900 odds they got outta 1200. And 150+, 160+ in the MPC papers.

But velila kaatikitta adi vizhum. Guys with 190+ were cribbing that they missed centum. I, true to his word went on to do BE ECE and was the only Engineer in the triumvirate of K,I and M.

Thats how life goes….;)
————-*****————-