Three cheers to…
Hmm. Wanted to write about this for quite sometime. Initially was a bit embarrassed. Then I thought ‘What the heck. No big deal.’ Sure enough. But, well… its quite a deal actually. What can be a more important deal than arranged marriage for a middle class guy? And let me add with my extensive domain experience, it’s a nagging, frustrating thing alright.
The only area where I could spell out my thought and give light to my true personality to an extent is through matrimonial portals and what I endure will be appreciated only by hapless guys like me.
Profiles will have words like “Traditional, modern, homely, good-looking, well-educated, liberal, moderate, contemperory” and all other million words for which the meaning can be best be described as relative.
And how can I forget this holy word “god-fearing”?. In fact I wanted to write a separate post on this one word. I’ve seen kids fearing ghosts and villains just like we fear Vijaykanth’s close-up but why on earth should one be scared of God?
There are some who would just not respond. Nice people, they would not want to hurt.
But then there has been atleast one instance when the girl was talking to me assuming I belonged to Tirunelveli Saiva Pillai ( I never said so). To make matters worse, we hit off really well.
The phone calls were going on for sometime.I heard the first alarm bell when she said we were just friends. So i was one of the very few who got a friend thru shaadi.com. Then suddenly out of nowhere she calls to tell she has been engaged to some X. Ouch! It hurt.
There was one alliance which came through the more traditional route(read amma and from my community). Things were going smooth until suddenly they realized the girl was employed in Bangalore and it was assumed that I would shift to Bangalore since i was working in a ‘private’ company(The girl worked in a prestigious public sector organization) The story ended when I said my chennai job and other interests mattered to me.
As my blog readers would well know I am one with less than flattering academics though I am doing well enough on the professional front and also happen to be one of the morons who don’t buy this castiest funda. Without dad but with some expectations like compatibility (after all the person should put up with an eccentric like me for life) makes things a little more difficult I guess.
The only consolation so far is that I’ve heard its difficult enough for people with truly flattering qualifications, great looks and H1 jobs.
What is life without hope? But sometimes the whole process makes me wonder ‘Pesama china vayasile edhavadhu ponnai correct pannirukalaam’.
But then I did my schooling in boys only school. That and no college life did not help matters one bit.
Enough rambling anyway. For now the hunt goes on.
Till there are idiots like me, three cheers to Bharat Matrimony.com , Shaadi.com, Kalyana Maalai. Net and their promoters.
August 28th, 2005 at 8:28 am
mmmm…I have heard these things happening to girls too. Getting married seems to be an ordeal nowadays.
August 28th, 2005 at 10:59 am
Ungalukkunnu oruthi pirakaamala irupa ??
Cheers PK !!
August 28th, 2005 at 12:52 pm
@kasthuri
believe me, it is
August 28th, 2005 at 12:54 pm
@adengappa prabhu
Deciding ‘i dont want marriage now is easy’. but family situation(amma) want to see me get maarried. then u need to go thru all the hassles, roughs and its really not very different from standing in Q in front of common toilet:)
sorry for the bad analogy but thats how i feel sometimes.
August 28th, 2005 at 11:44 pm
PK,
I know this as soon as u put this picture :)..
I thought u would have taken this for u r marriage..
Good Luck Man
Kavya
August 29th, 2005 at 2:38 am
all the best PK. I understand what you go through. I have now heard it through couple of my friends as well. Seekaram marriage announcement kuduka poreenga
Good luck.
August 29th, 2005 at 6:27 am
Dont worry PK. What you are going through is just a trailer of all the worries that is yet to come after marriage!!!
Whoops ! I was just kidding..
Actually, it is becoming difficult with girls being more educative and expecting a man from heaven with all degrees and all moneys. Phew !! neenga sonnadhum enakku bayamma irukku.. I wonder for my qualifications and looks, im going to have a tough time (nyways 4 more years to that).
Prabhu sonna madhiri, ungalukkunnu oruththi pirakkamala iruppa..
August 29th, 2005 at 7:27 am
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August 29th, 2005 at 7:31 am
@kavya
reg the picture:
thats true:)
danks.
though ideally i would want to postpone my marriage for 2 yrs. i have an offer for a course in usyd.
but then not all of my decisions has been motivated by my interests alone
there’s one huge advantage in western culture - the choice of remaining single
August 29th, 2005 at 7:32 am
@dubuku
bore matter…:))
London bloggers meet epdi pochu?
August 29th, 2005 at 7:33 am
@keerthi
Dont worry u have loads of time:)
August 29th, 2005 at 7:50 am
hmm.. one more guy adds on to the list of writing abt marriage and abt hunting…
this is a mandatory phase in life for both genders of people…..good luck in ur search…
seekaram kalayana azhaipidhazh and saapaadu podunga sir ..
tata
sukku
August 29th, 2005 at 8:01 am
@sukku
vera yaar yaar ellam indha topic la eludhirukkanga?
sonna vasadhiya irukkum:)
August 29th, 2005 at 8:13 am
Hummm dont worry take it this way the longer it takes the longer you escape from marriage! ;p
August 29th, 2005 at 10:14 am
Unga manasukka pidicha mathiri, ungala adjust pannittu pora mathiri, oru nalla penn ungallakku manaiviaa amaivanga.. vazthukkal….
Engeyo Ketta mathiri illa? athe…. namma ‘kalyana malai’ mohan thaan.
August 29th, 2005 at 10:30 am
@visit
onnu vittudanaum(ponnu parkaradhai)
illa mudichidanum(kalyanam)
anywhere in between is a pain
August 29th, 2005 at 10:31 am
@ram c
danks
August 29th, 2005 at 2:07 pm
All the very best PK for the most important milestone in life.
August 29th, 2005 at 2:20 pm
hmmm
getting married is so tough these days!!
good luck!
August 29th, 2005 at 4:47 pm
Idukkallam Kavalapadathenghu. Unnum Adharkana Velai Varalla. Earlier days, gents were demanding adjustability. Now girls say Enakkau Varavar Ennaium annudia Kudumbatheum Adjust Pannindu pora mathi irukkanum. I wish u tell through this Blog that u are hooked up soon.
August 29th, 2005 at 5:08 pm
I know its a pain goin through this phase, but take it as life exp. Good Luck.
August 29th, 2005 at 8:41 pm
@chakra
nandri
enakku ippo analum agalenaalum problem illai. but indha Q viley nikkara matter dhaan thollai
August 29th, 2005 at 8:42 pm
@monu
danks:)
August 29th, 2005 at 8:42 pm
@katpadi
danks:)
August 29th, 2005 at 8:43 pm
@kaliedoscope
saadha pain illai. pain in the wrong place..
thanks for the wishes:)
August 29th, 2005 at 10:58 pm
Enna solla….matrimonial site explanations nambi irangaatheenga…. summa ellam peter…. i don’t know how many ppl know the exact meaning of the word “homely”
and one more word that hate to the core is “extrovert” WTF ?!
August 29th, 2005 at 11:22 pm
Prabu,
romba tension aahadheenga..idhe boat-la dhaan pala per irukkom..:)) Inga US-la irukkara pasangalai kettu paarunga..similar stories varum! I guess all we can do is take everything with a sense of humour..and I am sure you will find a very attractive and smart lady for your wife! All the best.
August 30th, 2005 at 1:22 am
At the risk of noting the obvious: Whatever you do, don’t rush into marriage! Its way too messy to deal with an incompatible partner.
August 30th, 2005 at 7:26 am
@cipher
i think bcos of less inhibition when it comes to discussing online many girls let their hair down and describe lot of things sometimes go overboard.
idhey traditional route la andha ponnu rombo amaidiya homelya irukkum.
mothathiley its all the same
August 30th, 2005 at 7:28 am
@subha
tension ellam pochu koncha naal munnadi.
thanks for the pep talk
August 30th, 2005 at 7:28 am
j’adore
i understand….
:))
August 30th, 2005 at 3:01 pm
PK, I “know” the feeling exactly
August 30th, 2005 at 7:30 pm
Well written post, Prabhu Karthik. So often such posts tend to be tinged with bitterness. Yours seems to be a more matter-of-fact take on the whole subject. Stating things as they are without dramatising it.
Good luck.
August 31st, 2005 at 11:13 am
As far as I have heard, I thought there was shortage of “suitable” guys. But it seems the true the other way too.
August 31st, 2005 at 11:19 am
Prabhu
Intresting post..
I am way past this cycle..so no current knowledge in this topic..
Good Luck..
(guess.. we have to ‘fear’ the ‘god fearing’…)
August 31st, 2005 at 11:55 am
fathima
“suitable” is another word like god-fearing.
thaks for reminding me:))
August 31st, 2005 at 12:08 pm
@ram sir
welcome to my blog.
>>we have to fear the ‘godfearing’
exactly:)
August 31st, 2005 at 8:19 pm
PK!is this so tough why fall in matrimony when u live in harmony when single?
August 31st, 2005 at 9:15 pm
@anjali
neenga dhaan correct. u shud meet my mom….
:-))
September 1st, 2005 at 1:41 am
Good one:) first time here.
In one profile in tamilmatrimony, the girls father had written that “the girl is domesticated” , enna mean pannaraangalo bagawaanukku thaan teriyum.
September 1st, 2005 at 6:24 am
@vijay
:))
ROTFL stuff
September 1st, 2005 at 4:31 pm
Good luck with the search. I and a close friend are in the same state (single) as well and fully understand what you are going through.
September 1st, 2005 at 7:07 pm
hey sushil
welcome to my blog.
thanks for the wishes.
September 2nd, 2005 at 6:52 pm
this happens to many - guys as well as girls… but sure ungalukkaga oruthi pirandhiruppa!! all the best with your girl-hunting!!
September 3rd, 2005 at 11:06 am
hey vee-jay
welcome to my blog.
danks:)
September 5th, 2005 at 12:06 am
“The only consolation so far is that I’ve heard its difficult enough for people with truly flattering qualifications, great looks and H1 jobs.”…
Hey.. I’m one of those guys! Satisfying parents IS tough..! Hmm.. living in US doesn’t do any good; not tasting the independence of chosing any girl that I like… oh! well.. you know the drill
September 5th, 2005 at 7:49 am
@gopi
i most certainly know the drill
May 21st, 2007 at 4:25 am
I know its too late for me to leave a reply for this blog, but i just have one thing to say…if u are still not married, dont worry. I found my match at Bharat matrimony after a long long wait. Muyarchi udayar, igazchi adayar!!!!!!!!