Short story 1 - An hour to go
An hour to go
Aparna had an hour to catch the Cheran Express before it leaves Platform 4, Coimbatore junction. A few more minutes is all she has to see her mom and her dad for the final time.
She always had mixed feelings about her plan today. It was a combination of guilt and anger. True she is going to run away from home tonight. But was it not their actions which had to be the root cause? Not all girls try to run away from their parents after all.
‘Indha 18 varushathiley naan edhu senjaalum thappu’ she muttered to herself. She was determined to put an end to all this tonight.
‘Aparna, nee yen ange nikkarey? Poi padi!.
‘Aparna, velila pona seekiram veetuku varanumnu theriyadha unaku?’
‘Aparna summa summa pasangaloda pesadhe’
This in spite of the fact that Aparna came All India 5th in her CA foundation exams. She was a topper in school too.
She opened the letter that she had written earlier in the evening and read it once again.
Amma, appa
Ennai theda vendaam.. Ennal inimel ungalukku endha thollayum irukadhu…
Aparna
Was her terse, curt letter.
She carefully placed the letter in her draw.
She was smart enough to creat an alibi of a need to visit the CA regional office in Chennai. She had told her parents that she would be staying with Bhoomika, her close school friend who has since shifted to Chennai.
She had booked tickets in Cheran Exp. That’s what her parents know. They did not know about her plan to catch the Coromandel Exp to Calcutta on reaching Central. She had booked tickets for that too.
Where is she going? She had no clear plans. But she wanted freedom.
‘First let me reach Chennai and then see’ was her idea. Things were all too vague. The more she thought about it, the more her stomach churned. But then she has had enough with her annoying loveless parents. Come what may, she wanted to put an end to all this. She wanted to be free from her nagging mom and her authoritative father.
40 minutes to go.
‘This is more than sufficient to reach the Station from Saibaba Colony. Especially at night’ she thought.
“Seri ma naan poittu varen. Appa naan poittu varen.”
“Seri da. Parthu. Bathiram enna? Nalaiku night inneram angey train eriduvey illa? Idhey cheran dhaaney?” they enquired.
“Umm” was her reply.
She started her Scooty. She could have taken the bus but that would have been unusual. She always took the two wheeler from home and left the vehicle in the station. All this acting, lies and the need for being extra careful was driving her mad.
She was riding slowly as thoughts about her family, her relatives, her CA friends filled her mind.
She reached the station, parked the vehicle in a secluded spot in the rear entrance in Good Shed Road at Coimbatore junction. She saw the vehicle one last time. Slowly she moved towards platform no 4.
15 minutes to go
“Payanigal Gavanathirku..Vandi Enn 2674 .” the announcement
was going on in the speakers.
As she reached the top of the stairs, she got the shock of her life to see her dad loitering in Platform no 4. He was looking inside the coaches and among the people in the platform.
‘Oh my God’ she thought. ‘How come? What had gone wrong? Maybe he got the letter too early? ‘How the hell did that happen?’
He should have taken his car and driven real fast to be there before her.
Her father knew her coach number and berth number. S10, 64.
He was infact loitering near S9, S10, S11 looking in all directions in vain to catch his daughter…
She needed to act fast. She quickly walked towards the unreserved compartment before he caught her.
Unreserved coaches were usually the first and the last 2 coaches of the train. She walked towards the last coach of the train and entered it. The coach was jam packed as always. She needed to be there for sometime. But she could not handle the crowd there. She wanted to go towards S10. Maybe not now. But as soon as her dad leaves the station.
The coach was dirty and some of the men were drunk.
She waited inside for a few minutes but she wanted to come out and breathe the fresh night air in Coimbatore. She had no clue when she would return to this place the next time. But then her dad was just a few yards there hunting for her, pacing up and down the platform.
5 minutes to go
She hid behind one middle aged man and saw her dad. Her dad was talking to the TTE. Maybe he was telling about her plans? Not sure. He was giving something to the TTE. A polyethylene bag which had something. She could see the TTE nod his head.
She could see his dad calling someone in his mobile. He clearly looked agitated.
Thank god she did not have a mobile.
She saw the time in her watch. The time was ticking towards 11.10 PM.
‘Almost time for the train to move’ She thought.
“Passengers your kind attention please…” the announcement started again..
She could hear the engine siren at a distance. The train moved ever so faintly. The initial movement was hardly discernable.
She stood there unmoved. She watched the platform move behind slowly.
There was that first cling in the tracks.
She could see her dad walking back shouting over phone to someone. Probably mom.
Something disturbed her. The eyes of the drunk man nearby. He was staring at her like a beast.
“Enna Paapa, madras kku poriya?” he asked.
“Ama”
“Thaniyaava?” he grinned.
His grin scared her.
The train was ambling out of the platform.
She chose to ignore him.
“Paapa.. Paapa.. Enna Paapa kekaranla.?” His voice turned coarse.
She was dead scared. Her face almost turned white. None of the other passengers noticed anything. She wanted to scream but felt too weak. She deftly moved towards the middle of the coach and stood at a safe distance from that drunkard.
The train which was gathering momentum slowed down again as it neared North Coimbatore Station and looked like stopping any moment.. Then it stopped finally.
The train was not supposed to stop there. It had stopped for signal.
She quickly realized the place and got down from the general coach and ran towards her S10 compartment.
She got into her coach and moved towards her berth 64. And then she saw that parcel. The parcel her dad had given to the TTE. She opened it and saw a letter.
Kannamma,
You had forgotten to take your air pillow. Amma wanted me to give you this.
luv
Appa.
She stood and thought for a minute.
She grabbed her luggage in one hand and her air pillow in the other and got out of the train. The signal turned green and the train started to move.
She started to walk towards her home.
September 1st, 2005 at 11:52 pm
excellent prabhu
viru virupa iruthandhu.
btw checkout my quick tale too
September 1st, 2005 at 11:53 pm
btw parents love for their children is always unconditional
September 2nd, 2005 at 12:07 am
sooober PK…. though guessable, the narration was thrilling.. well done.
September 2nd, 2005 at 1:33 am
Awesome PK, romba nalla erundhudhu.
September 2nd, 2005 at 2:09 am
It was really nice reading this…… kadhal kottai padam vanthalum vanthathu..intha railway station romba thaan story-kky use aaguthupa…
September 2nd, 2005 at 3:55 am
@ganesh
danks
sure idho ippove vandhutten….
September 2nd, 2005 at 3:59 am
@chakra
guessable eh? enna panradhu indha short story matter ellam straight fwd narrative na koncham guessable aydidhu…
i hope things will improve as time goes on.
danks chakra:)
September 2nd, 2005 at 3:59 am
@kaleidoscope
danks:)
September 2nd, 2005 at 4:01 am
@cipher..
Adhuku munnadiye ‘moondram pirai’ la, mouna ragam la use achu :))
September 2nd, 2005 at 7:05 am
Good one - was immersed till the end :))
September 2nd, 2005 at 7:12 am
@visit
danks:)
September 2nd, 2005 at 7:41 am
Nice one prabu. Very realistic.
September 2nd, 2005 at 7:41 am
wow… really nice one… had me reading till the very last word… great stuff!
September 2nd, 2005 at 7:46 am
@tt
welcome to my blog.
danks man:)
September 2nd, 2005 at 7:46 am
@preeti
welcome to my blog.
danks:)
September 2nd, 2005 at 8:44 am
good one.. but cannot be classified as a short story. parents love towards their children couldn’t be matched by anything..
September 2nd, 2005 at 9:01 am
Nanbare, Thangalin Kadhai sollum thiranai mechinom.
Yarange ! 1000 porakaasugal Prabhu-vukku.
September 2nd, 2005 at 11:05 am
It is a wonderfully Ideal scenario from a writer’s imagination. Wish all parents in the world(especially Indian sub continent) understand the kids that way.
The reason Aparna decided to pack off is simply a deep fear of her parents rejecting her voice, that she had been experiencing from child hood. One fundamental phenomenon universally that has to be noticed by any human is “Force will not bring any change and even if the change is seen it is only transient”.
I do not really think many of the parents do things in the best interest of kids, knowing kids heart. If that had been the case, we would not have so many teen suicides, so many teen psyhic problems and umpteen love failures in the country. Not to say, there are very understanding parents, who are open to communicate. Parents should understand the notion of Kids “Kids r us, NOT Toys r us”.
BTW, Karthik , beautiful write up. Makes a short film script
The title could be “Last Hour” 
September 2nd, 2005 at 11:11 am
@bulls
welcome to my blog.
mikka nandri.
thalai u r from cbe and now in velachery? same pinch
September 2nd, 2005 at 11:13 am
@suman
it wud be too formal if i say thanks to u. so lets leave it at that:))
And i know exactly what u r trying to read from this story situation
:))
September 2nd, 2005 at 2:06 pm
that was great!
interesting till the last bit!!!
September 2nd, 2005 at 2:56 pm
Nice one PK. English and Tamil mixture gives a feeling of someone narrating. Kudos!
September 2nd, 2005 at 4:42 pm
Nice start! Aanaa idhukkellaam odi poradhaa? Innum Aparnakku avlo maturity varla. Add some specific incident(as a flashback) on the day she decided to run away.
September 2nd, 2005 at 8:47 pm
prabhu,really loved the story..and what an ending!full of yadartum!and u captured the feelings of a vayasu ponnu well.but even if she had decided 2 go off 2 calcutta after a few days she would have come back,i think.
btw let us meet sometime.vatsan said he has met u.
September 2nd, 2005 at 8:57 pm
prabhu,just read ur reliance article :)crazy!so the number changed depending on which city ur in?jk rowlingike kuda inda mari ideala varade!!nenga solarade patta reliance cell pati oru patimandrame vekalam- idu cell phona ilai peya?
awesome humour..i 2 have been wanting 2 write humorous articles..but kind of not yet got the hang f it though
September 2nd, 2005 at 9:05 pm
ur post on heart disease was touching esp after reading that ur dad died of it.i wonder are such ailments a biproduct of urbanisation and so called ‘development’?
September 2nd, 2005 at 10:51 pm
@ram c
sorry missed to respond u.
hmm idhu s story illena seri vera yedho onnu.. enakkey therila:)
September 2nd, 2005 at 10:57 pm
@monu
Danks…
the best thing abt writing a story r script (apart from such intoxicating comments like yrs:)) is..
I myself am an audience first.
its one true ‘aha’ experience for me.
September 2nd, 2005 at 11:00 pm
@dubukku
Actualla english dialogues vecha koncham anglo indian theatre vaadai varumo nu oru bayam.. adhaan..:)
September 2nd, 2005 at 11:04 pm
@fathima
17/18 yrs la enna maturity edhir parka mudiyum?
ethanai girls cinema chance thedi veetile irundhu odi poraanga theriyuma?
enakku ennamo rombo aluthamaana sambavam lam venumnu thonalai…
andha age la lack of freedom is the biggest motivator to run away in my opinion…
reg flash back - nee serial rombo parkarey :))
September 2nd, 2005 at 11:05 pm
@sidharth
any time man. u tell me…
danks for the story comment:)
September 2nd, 2005 at 11:09 pm
@reliance
Adhu oru periya kadhai..
That and a lot more…
Reliance episode was a very important lesson to me.. its infocomm launch is a classic case of how a hyped up venture can lose all goodwill in a hurry.
i was really looking forward to reliance during that time to deliver…
September 2nd, 2005 at 11:13 pm
reg heart attack post
very satisfying post of the week for me. read a few things i am sure i woldn’t have otherwise..
Not many people realise the gravity of the sitn in india..
india’s primary advantage in the world is its huge population in the productive age group.
widespread heart problems and diabetes is going to neutralise that advantage to a great extent..
Add to that, India is very much lagging behind in social security and health insurance…
September 3rd, 2005 at 6:06 am
me thot tiffin box
September 3rd, 2005 at 6:35 am
@capri
btw neenga tiffin box yosichadiley me not surprised.
in fact box la enna irudhirukum nu kooda yosichirupeenga
September 8th, 2005 at 11:42 pm
I enjoyed the story prabhu… I think most asian kids go through such a stage. I did for sure!
p.s. i just got back into town and ur blog was the first thing i checked after emails. u’ve got a groupie
September 9th, 2005 at 6:04 am
j’adore
thanks.. and thanks for the wishes for my new job and b’day
:))
September 11th, 2005 at 9:55 pm
good one, prabhu!