ExpertDabbler

It was 7:15 in the morning when Seema Sharath got into her company bus. Konark operated 53 buses from all parts of the city to take the associates (as it prides itself in calling its employees) to Shozhinganallur. The bus stop was walkable distance from her apartment near the Kellys Telephone Exchange. The bus usually starts from Perambur, touches Ayanavaram before picking her up at Kilpauk and then goes through KMC, Chetput, Sterling signal, Nungambakkam, Gemini and then cuts into Kotturpuram before reaching Adyar. Then goes into Thiruvanmyur and ECR before joining Old Mahabalipuram road exactly at Shozhinganallur junction. It picks up Associates enroute till ECR and reaches the company office by 8:25AM.
In other words a long, arduous journey of approximately 35 kilometers in city traffic.

She took the vacant seat just above the rear wheels after the customary,“Hi” to all the known faces in the bus. She took the window seat and looked outside.
She could see the stares, smiles, frowns, awe her from the public in the roads towards the Bus and her.
‘What would they be thinking about me?. Will it be something like ‘There goes yet another spoilt software techie”? She smiled. A smile which she herself was not sure whether of pride or tiredness.

‘What do they know about me? That I look good? That I earn a lot when young? Well that’s true. I don’t look my age. And I earn ok even by my industry standards. 10 Lakhs per annum is no small amount. I have a 1400 sq ft flat in Kilpauk. Not to mention some properties back home in Madurai. My husband is a SAP consultant on a project in Pasadena, CA. He is working for another IT major in chennai. He is also earning pots of money.’

‘But this is just part of the story. What these people might not know is I am not entirely happy. I am not happy with this high-paying but sucking job. I want to do something else. But dont know what. I am not happy about my dear hubby Mr Sharath Chander staying abroad in L1 without bothering to take me there. I am not happy about leaving my only wonderful kid Ashok who yearns for his mom every evening till I come back. I sometimes manage to come by 7:30 for which I need to catch the 5:45 bus. Sometimes I am back only at 9. The little fellow who makes my life worthwhile is asleep by that time. What have I done to this kid in all these 5 years? The only sensible thing i have done is, i have put him in a nice school near house. Not in a prestigeous school at a far off place. What i have done in fact is much less than what a middle-class home-maker mother would do to her child.’

‘Yeah, I am going to work because I don’t know what else to do. I write Executive Summaries for RFPs for Major Investment banks because I am asked to. And I will be screwed if I don’t deliver on time.’

‘But then it has always been like this. I studied because I was asked to. Got into BITS because that was considered cool. Did MBA from Symbiosis because I missed IIM which was the benchmark. I remember Appa was not happy about that at all. I married Sharath because I was asked to. This time by Sharath for a change. Appa was doubly happy. Not because Sharath was particularly good or I love him. But more importantly he belonged to my community, and he was my classmate.’ Having said that i don’t ate him either. It is more of an indifference than hatred or love.’

‘Later Sharath wanted a child. My parents seconded him. And so Ashok was born.’

‘On the other hand, certain things which I always wanted to do have always remained empty wishes. The paintings that I used to dabble with on weekends, the guy who I really wanted to marry when I was in my 10th standard, the NID course which I wanted to enroll myself and to which my Amma objected.’

‘Yeah, I am doing fine. I am rich, smart, wear trendy clothes on Fridays but am i realy happy? Job Satisfaction? Personal Life? 10 lakhs is small consolation for all that I don’t have’

She was not sure when she dozed off. The effects of returning late from work last night and waking up at 5 in the morning to prepare the morning breakfast and lunch for herself and her son took its toll.

Madhav woke her up.

“Elundhiru Seema. Office Vandachu. Ippove thoongina aprom seat la thookam varama kastapaduvey”

Madhav quipped and smiled casually.

This entry was posted on Friday, November 11th, 2005 at 12:55 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.