ExpertDabbler

Project Shaving.

What a project! This is one task even those who guys who are in bench had to perform everyday.

A shaving project on your lovely cheeks with a new razor is a cake walk. Now, a project with a used razor is a different ball game altogether. It usually differentiates the stingy middle class man from the rich pampered kid.

In the history of mankind, no other project is synonymous with terms like ” Concentration, Determination, Dedication, Devotion, Pareto’s Principle (80% of the shave in 20% of the time and blade blah blah…)” as vividly as the prospect of a shave with a razor used many times.

Have you wondered about vowels? A, E, I, O, U are not just vowels in the English language, but also our facial distortions when we are close to attaining Nirvana in our shave.
Try saying A, E, I, O, U loudly in front of a mirror and you would know what I am talking. English is a language formed by a group of men, I had no doubts once I got this point clear. And no wonder they are part of every single word in the English vocabulary. That is why guys always get the vowels right in spelling. It is the consonants which are a headache. Typos and all….

Significantly, U has 2 variants -> U-left and U-right;just like C-Minor in music. And this is a step which would have a substantial impact on the ‘user experience’ and the ‘look and feel’ aspects of the project later on so be please careful with this U-twins distortion.

If only I am to write something which mankind would be cherish for its intellectual rigor and sagacity, my first choice would be ‘Shaving Patterns’, on the lines of Design Patterns.

Even men find it hard to tolerate men with beard. That being the case, the real 8th wonders of the world are those wonderful women who consider male bears as their husbands! Expertdabbler recognizes this great act of selflessness and courage in the face of adversity by the women folks. Hence as a mark of respect to all of them, this post is dedicated to Usha, wife of Vijaya T Rajender!.

I want to write more on this but its already morning and I have a razor which was used more than twice. Gotta go for the project kick-off.

Catch you later folks!

He scans dakaltimatrimony.com and one cute thing impresses him

The following is what the girl has written in her profile and He’s response to himself on reading it(in brackets).

‘I am a 25 yr old, good looking, charming girl with a blend of modern thoughts and traditional values…’ (Wow. babe you are gorgeous! I love you)

‘I am a liberal, open hearted, broad minded person looking out for my ideal soulmate. Looking for a decent friendly chap from a good family. Looks hardly matters nor money, but am looking for a heart of gold…’ (ada ada ada)

‘I am looking for someone who can be my more of a friend than a husband’(how nicely put!)

‘As a person i believe in sincerity, honesty and trust. I know money matters only to a small extent for happiness in life…’ (Cha amazing insight!)

‘My father is a retd avaru and my mom is a retired ivaru…Both are big ‘paruppu’s in their own right’ (Man, pretty influential family)

‘I did my schooling in XXX, did my BE Comp sci and did my MBA in XXX one of the leading institutes in India’ (Oh! she is real intelligent:)

‘My partner should be educated, open hearted, broadminded, liberal guy (Exactly like me!)

‘I am interested in painting, photography, creative writing, reading, gardening’ (Wow, like me, like me.. how come two people in far off places can be so similiar in their tastes? Chellam you and me are made for each other!!)

‘The guy should be professionally qualified’(BE from IITs, RECs, CA, CWA, MCA, MBA, MBBS, MS, Phd etc) (Grr..Engeyo idikudhey!)

‘I am earning around 6 lakhs per annum. The guy should be in equal or better paying job..’(Grrr. am I reading the same profile?)

‘We belong to XXXXXX caste and XXXXX sub caste and so would prefer the guy only from the same caste’(vechaanga da aapu!)

‘My star is XXXXX and the following stars does not match XXXXXXXXXX,XXXXXXXXXX,XXXXXXXXXXX,XXXXXXX.’ (Aatha)

‘The groom should be preferably working/settled in UK/USA’ (He Alt+F4s the window. “Amma tiffin readya?. Enakku pasikudhu. naan saapida varen”)

While eating his amma continues

Amma:
“Indha nee website la sight adichadhu podhum. aruppukottai pakkam kariyapatti la namba maama voda periya maamanar oda maga vazhi paethi onnu irukku. jadagam laam pidichirukku. 8 porutham irukku nu solraanga. naan adha dhaan unaku mudikalam nu iruken…”

He:“”

Amma: “Ponnu peru muthumari. +2 padichirukku…parka sumaara irukkum”

He: “Hmm.. Office la veli nadu poga solraanga. ippodaiku kalyanam laam venaam”

(gulps down a glass of ice water in one go! and escapes from the place!!!)

It’s not that people dont know the undue risks involved in doing certain things, but they still do it. Like a Tendulkar trying a silly steer to third man when on song.

How does one explain people watching movies like Aadhi, Paramasivan, Saravana, Thambi etc knowing fully well the dangers?

The only outcome worth writing about is posts like this, this and this.

There is a masochist in each and everyone of us.

I have a new name for the Vice-Chancellor of Anna University. A name I am sure he would love to have. Ayotollah Khomeini.
There are rumours floating around that the next set of ‘disciplinarian reforms’ include ‘Purdah’ System for women and ‘Fatwa’ to all those who violate his edicts.
Long live Khomeini err. Vishwanathan…..

Man created a musical instrument called violin.
God wanted to give heart and soul to that instrument.
He wanted man to laugh, cry and mourn to every sound that emanates from violin. And he created Ilayaraja.

Just click here to listen to a 5 yr old singing “Ondra Renda Asaigal..” in Kaakha Kaakha.

Wow!

i’ve been tryin to download this for the past 2/3 days… and gorgeous it was…

aduvum professional singer madhiri “en kanavu” and “parvaigalaal” ku aprom oru Izhu izhukaraanga parunga. Fantastic!

The fact of the matter, the US has granted a patent. Patent for what?
Click here for more

As one commentor says, this is the kind of thing that makes the world a terrible place.

I am thinking about applying a patent in an interesting area.
I am going to apply a patent for the art and science of lovemaking. Once i get this, anyone who engages in any sexual act covered under it will have to pay me a licence fee. Vatsayananar be damned, i was the first who staked a claim for a patent, mind you!

Now don’t be so pessimistic, the folks who are there in the US patents office might actually grant me the patent. Now, is it not the most prized knowledge across the globe? Why not patent it?

So any or all gorgeous girls who want to marry a prospective billionaire (based on IPR holdings) can get in touch with me soon.

30 day free trial.
Before i forget! once i get the patent, I will give you all 30 days time, not a day more, to engage in it to your hearts content and then start paying me licence fee from the 31st day
—————————————
A related joke on IPR,

He: “Do you know why free software movement did not take off in India as expected?”

She:”Why?”

He: “Cos, in India even Windows is free :))”

There is a dialogue in Devar Magan which would go on the lines of “Unakulle ipdi oru gramathaan olinchurukaradhai ippo dhaan parkaren” by Gowthami.

Whenever I listen to this “Karumaathur…” song in Virumaandi, it seriously evokes a part in me which I have almost successfully buried in Coimbatore and Chennai. Maybe there is a “gramathaan” in me too.

One thing which lingers in my mind everytime I listen to this song is the Panguni Pongal festival in Virudhunagar. Virudhunagar is no means a village. A district headquarters can’t be a village after all. But it does not have any of the cosmopolitan pretensions of the big city either.

The pongal is a Mariamman festival. And like all Mariamman festivals, this too shall have “thee chatti” in the second day of Pongal. Usually Pongal falls on Sunday. Followed by the chatti on Monday and the third day will be the day of the temple car also known as the “Thaeer”.

Pongal:
I was very religious when I was a kid. This should explain the bhakthi and fear i had for Mariamman those days. Later on, i could not accept certain practices and have ever since maintained a fair distance from Mariamman. Its fair to say we have parted ways and have remained that way till date. My mom is still a devotee though.

What started out as a religious thing soon turned out to be an occasion to hog some incredibly fabulous dishes for me during my adolesence. The special ‘kalkandu’ pongal and a dish called “thuvattal kari”(its a veg. dish) made out of a variety of vegetables is the high point of Pongal for me. Till date i’ve never seen any one who can cook that “theeyal” and “thuvattal kari” with such flavour except in our families. And my amma is the BEST in that. Yummy!

‘Agni Chatti’ day :
This Agni pot or “thee chatti” a monday, is usually declared as a local holiday. During “chatti” the whole town would be wild with Saami adum ladies, and this rollicking folk melam. The folk musicians are invariably guys coming from neighboring villages and almost everyone who takes agni pot on that day will engage a group of such musicians. And what stamina these guys had! The day would typically start at about 4 AM in the morning for them and would go well into the night. These groups of musicans would charge in hundreds for a trip. That was their only day and they would be really keen on making hay. The procession would start from the devotees’ residence and proceed to the Amman temple with the folk music. And after that the group will be hired by other Amman devotee after due negotiations.

Temple Car Day:
This was always a tuesday. Since all the folk music group are busy on Monday they would offer their agni pot or ‘chatti’ on the third day as a way of gratitude to Mariamman for all that they earn on Chatti day is because of amman.

My dad had a great taste in all these. He had never been particular about the “thee chatti” day which was usually crowded and commerical as far as music goes. But he was very keen to see the way these folks perform with their instruments when they make their own thee chatti. My dad would wake me up early in the morning and we would go out and have a refreshing Padhaneer and we would start our walk looking for these guys performing. He would travel all the way from Coimbatore to Virudhunagar just to witness this event. They would start a rhythm and would slowly start working on the crowd. In a matter of 15 minutes they would really enter that FLOW state. Man, i’ve never seen rock music concerts but those guys certainly would be on a rock and roll that day, for sure.

The temple car procession in the evening is a relatively tame affair and signals the end of the celebrations.

Nowadays due to several reasons, i usually dont go to the Panguni Pongal festivals. It reminds me of so many things including my dad. In a way, the big city pretensions offers us a convenient escape route from some memories.

Short and curt ‘dialogue’ between He and his HOD

HOD:“thadavi thadavi course mudichitey… Sir aduthu enna panrada irukeenga?”

He: “idhu varaikum onnum decide pannalai, Sir”

HOD: “enna vena pannu. aana mela padikanumnu mattum yosikadhey. saraswathi yai insult panninadhu idhoda podum. inime venaaam…”

He:(in a low tone)”Neenga HOD anadhai vidava idhu?… appovaey andha saraswathi thookile thongirkanum”

HOD: “Ennadhu ennadhu?”

He: “Onnum illa sir. Neenga namma saraswathi madam pathiya solreenga? Apdiya solraanga? Naan vena kekkaren…HOD indha madhiri sonaaru unmaya nu.”

HOD: “Hey hey nee koncham summa iruppa… Naan unna onnum sollala. Nee enna vena pannu…arasiyal la seru…nalla varuvey… mudalla po ingey irundhu…chey enakku naakile sani..”

Sai Sivasamy in Rediff - absolutely brilliant article!
i wish every muslim in india reads this.