I saw a post by Subhashini, commented there, and the train of thoughts led me to this one. It might even seem contradictory to what i commented there in the first instance but i guess its not.
A conversation between me and my friend (something i already referred in my post on New Year’s eve)
My friend: Dei innaiku evening GRT Temple Bay polaam variya?
Me: Hmm.. evlo ticket?
My Friend: 3500 rupees
Me: What?? Enna velayadariya? naan varalai! 3500 laam over da. Edhuku paisa vai waste panre?
My Friend:
Ennai vera enna panna solre? See naan innaiku pogalai nu vechukko, veetla thaniya dhaan irukkanum! Evening TV la ‘Vasool Raja MBBS’ poduvaan adhai dhaan parthutu ambo nu irukanum.. (He is a bachelor and lives alone in his apartment).
Adhaan varushathile ella naalum adhai dhaaney panren. atleast i have company today. Also, mitha edangal la ’stags’ allow panave maaataan! (stags - single men). idhukaaga naan udanadiya figure correct panna mudiyadhu!. Nee varalai na freeya vidu.. naan poren..
Fact:
If it was just 100 or 200 bucks, i would have gone with my friend for the sake of company. I think its ‘reasonable’ to spend 100 or 200 bucks today. In my perception, its no big deal for the sake of my friend. So, with a close friend, an act which I would not do alone is suddenly ok.
But spending 3500 bucks for a New Year party - I am way too middle class in brought up for that. My mom would say “3500 rupees ku veetu maligai saaman vangina oru maasam saapidalaam!! which is very true indeed. Thats the product of the environment I was brought up!
My friend on the other hand, earns much more than I do. For him, 3500 Rupees has probably less than half the value it has for me. “One way flight journey from Chennai to Coimbatore da! Thats all!!” he would say.
What’s more, he finds the loneliness on New Year’s eve unbearable. I would gladly be all alone for 3500 rupees any day.
If the same guy was brought up in Mylapore, maybe he would have just gone to Kabali Temple and returned home with the same happiness when he returned from GRT temple bay eventually.
In contrast, what people would probably do in Las Vegas on New Year’s eve would be of completely different league 
The same goes for people who pay 500 Rupees for a movie ticket in Diwali. A person like me would never do that. But probably in the other person’s environment, opting to miss out on Diwali release First Day First Show for the sake of saving 500 bucks is an unpardonable sin. (kaasu innaiku varum, naalaiku pogum, innaiku selavu panalena mattum namba panjam theera pogudha?….indha occasion pochuna thirumba kedaikuma?? would be the justification)
There were days when i thought spending 50 rupees for a movie was bad! Now the same person sees movies in theatres like Satyam where popcorn alone costs minimum 20 bucks.
A lot of clubs would allow only couples to enter their dance halls (My mom would say ‘ Enna kandraavi da!’ for this). Some hotels allow two guys with one girl (I honestly do not know what my mom would say if only she knew about this!). The clubs have their own reasons and so does my mom.
As much as we can argue on this topic, at the end of the day, we are always a product of our environment. We grab some properties or attributes from the environment we were brought up, the environment we live now, the environment our friends/partners are from, the environment we can afford etc. and make a spectrum out of it. If a lot of people have primarily the same spectrum as we do, then we are ‘in’, less frequently, we are deviants - either ‘too conservative’ or ‘too liberal’, and in rare cases, an outcast.
What is ‘cheap’ in one spectrum is considered ‘economical’ in another. What is ‘kandraavi’ for person X is seen as ‘liberal’ or ‘modern’ by Y. Your broadmindedness may be seen as something else by another person.
Even with the same person, it changes from time to time. For example, I want 4 idlies on my plate, with 4 different types of hot chutnies for 6 rupees when I go to ‘paati kadai’ in coimbatore. I dont mind the less than average cleanliness and seating arrangements there. Personally, i like this the best.
The same person is willing to give 30 bucks for the Sambhar Idly in Saravana Bhavan. Here i am more particular about the seats, the cleanliness etc. So those who prefer this are not idiots.
So who is right and who is wrong? I guess there are no absolute right or wrong attached to it.
As the dialogue goes in ‘Hey Ram’ “Oru Nariya irundhu partha dhaan adhoda nyaayam puriyum”.
Thats one reason why I might choose not to do certain things but i do not have any issues if my friends do it. This is a recent change in me.
The ‘right’ is to be more exposed to people from different backgrounds and try to see things from different perspectives. The more diverse the properties we take from different environments, the better and more interesting will be our spectrum.
The ‘wrong’ would be to stick to one’s own way of living from birth till death and think that everybody else is either stupid or criminals or both. Those who do that are no different from the Taliban.
