ExpertDabbler

I was in a very serious conversation with my friend Gopi y’day night and I get a call in my mobile. A person in distress. She is going through some relationship issues.

When you get an unusual call in your mobile after 12 AM, its not going to make you happy.

Agony calls can be gratifying or can be total crap - depending on the time of the call, the mood i am in, the way he or she responds to me.

For e.g Say, X is complaining about her lover. What am i supposed to do? I cannot say bad things about the guy because he is her lover. I cannot say good things as well because she is already angry with him. I cannot advice X because she would never listen in that situation anyway. I cannot talk to X’s lover because its their personal problem. It almost always boomerangs on the madhyastham party.

Here are some fundamental truths about agony aunt calls - what you say doesn’t matter. The person would’ve invested so much emotional energy into his situation that no matter what you say, he’s gonna look through his tainted glasses ever more closely.

I’ve had instances when people had called me at 3 AM in the morning just to vent their frustrations and emotional turmoil.
Now that very person did not have the time to call me when he was leaving the country for good. Nor is he in touch

Nowadays I follow a strategy with these calls. I can size up if this conversation will be of any good to the person in quick time.

If he or she can respond to me and I could really relate to his or her plight, i carry on.
Otherwise, i start arguing with them. They quickly realize there are worse people in this world than their lovers [”Indha saniyanukku namba saniyane thevalai”] and perhaps this very thought comforts them in way which cannot be expressed. I save a lot of time for better things as well

All said and done, truly listening to someone is a tough job. It just doesn’t get any easier at 3 AM. And you really have to stop short of going to a therapist yourself when you get treated like shit by that very same person

Its a good experience anyways. From a purely selfish standpoint, I know that I am not alone with problems.