Wedding ready reckoner
Back from yet another wedding. I should have around 500 wedding pictures by now. Not all of them are, ‘look straight, say cheers!’ kinda snaps. Some are decidedly off-beat and more documentary-ish. Right now the tilt is more towards Tam-brahm weddings. I am looking forward to shoot more mallu and gult weddings. Some chettiar, pillai weddings would not hurt as well. More variety the better. More secular the better too. There are good thinking and reasons behind every community’s rituals, right?
Will South Indian weddings be the same fifty years from now? To what extent have we evolved in the last fifty years in weddings? Who will know the meaning and relevance of the current customs and rituals in say, 2045?
As of now, among my relative circles, there are some specialists ladies who can be safely described as ‘All in all azhagu raanis’ as far as rituals and proceedings go. They know the process A to Z. What if those people get old and/or pass away in another 20 years? I do not see any mentoring happening. The daughters and sons of those “All in all” types are busy with project meetings and conf. calls etc. They could not care less about rituals and customs. Personally, i am sub-zero in my community customs.
I think a ready reckoner in the form of a book or documentary will come in very handy in future to those who care about.
Having said that, I will never forget one of my friend’s wedding album. I was seeing through and I felt something was amiss there.
“Nalla dhaan irukku, aana ennamo kurayudhu da!”
“Ah.. adhu vandhu album fulla naanum en wife mattum dhaan iruppom”
“Oh yeah!.. yenda apdi?”
“Mothamave 10 per dhaan marriage ku..Marriage enga nadandhudhu theriyumo?”
“Enga da”
“Enga veetu hall la dhaan!”
Ahaa! this was “wedding from home” variety. Poor guy, the girl’s side vehemently opposed this marriage. So he did it in-house in true kollywood style. It’s another matter that no amount of wedding ready reckoners will impress this guy. He is the SME ( subject matter expert ) in registered marriages in my friend’s circle 
June 24th, 2008 at 1:47 am
Very true PK. Even I used to wonder about the future of marriage and the vital role which the “all in all maamis” play. I just hope that marriage dont get toooo westernised for convenience-sake. It will definitely take the nativity off our weddings and also the fun!
June 24th, 2008 at 3:41 am
ravi,
precisely!
maybe people will look at registered marriage as an option:)
June 24th, 2008 at 11:10 pm
PK,
As you said the tradition may go. Who goes for Jaanavasam these days. Usually, the marriage tradition starts with a Jaanavasam and most of the marriages do not have this tradition. They have the reception the day before and the marriage the next day. When asked they say “Why stop the TRAFFIC”. What an answer?
June 25th, 2008 at 9:16 am
AAR
I am not advocating for janavasam or opposing it. I am suggesting for people who care (say, like you) its better if they know it from authentic sources than through hearsay.
Documenting stuffs like this will help to know the real reason for some practices at some point as the document itself evolves, if not immediately.
The idea is not to just mimic what was prevalent sometime back. By knowing the reasons, we can make adaptations for the times we live in,, see if these are still valid (for e.g marrying a person who is mentally unstable will not be advisable at all times.today or tomorrow… whereas marrying a divorcee or widow will not be as taboo in the next 10 years as it is now)
June 26th, 2008 at 9:30 am
oooh I promise you PK some communities do already have ready reckoners listing out the reasons behind the customs, hoping that this will keep it going for a few more generations
June 26th, 2008 at 9:34 am
WA
ahaa en kanavile ipdi mann alli potuteengale!!
I had this chillarai idea of making a coffee table book with whatever photographs i have and make some quick buck with that sorta content
But i am still not losing all hopes. “The name is rajanikanth’ bookaye makkal vangranga na why not another reckoner?? what say?
Anyway please let me know if you come across such reckoners
June 28th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Those days people used to travel from village to village in cart probably in a procession and that means they need to have some fun for atleast few days..so it was all festive..Then they added lot of customs to spoil it..Then it became from Swayamvar to marrying kids at age of 9 and 12..Which I totally oppose. Lot of customs like nalangu etc were to just keep those kids occupied when they didnt even know what they were getting into.
My mom says all slokas have lotsa hidden meanings..No one tries to understand or bother about anything. I dont also care.
I doubt everything has a deeper ugly context..Sometimes it can also be not so intentionally good. Like arundathi pakarathu is probably for testing the girls eye sight..I have no idea.
There is so much pollution wastage….in every marriage..All my silk sarees are lying in godrej - all the carefully picked jewellery is sitting in the bank..So much rice was wasted..If only we try to direct all the wastage of money and donate or do something simple and wise..it will make sense..
atleast some of our junta.. would have complained..about something… My Mom Dad and in laws probably would have felt so relieved after it was all over..
Marry in a temple. Keep a simple reception. Have “nadaswara or local musician..” kutcheri.. Have some food catered so you atleast make sure you make some families can live. Pay wisely to the priest and ask him to do a small prayer in some good times for rain and for good harvest. Dont pollute. Dont waste printing invitations..Is all this possible?? Lets change all the customs and make our own that fits..
We got to start a web site -and charge lots of money for this simple marriage I was talking about. Then lots of our so called..elders will register and think it is right..If one of us say something no one will listen.
June 29th, 2008 at 12:30 am
priyums..
wow! seri vidu en kalyanathile idhula evlo pannalaam nu parkaren:)
June 30th, 2008 at 1:41 am
Marriage has become an avenue to display one’s wealth and status in the society. It is a wrong mindset which needs to be corrected because it is highly contagious. Everybody aspires to do a marriage like the ambanis or bachans did. Which is not right.
June 30th, 2008 at 6:55 am
malesh
usually the excuse is “oru dhadavai panrom brammaandama pannanum ( like shankar/aascar ravichandran films)
obviously not healthy
June 30th, 2008 at 7:40 am
:)) Well said : )